In today’s high-pressure world, it’s no surprise that 1 in 5 children and young people experience mental health difficulties. But what might come as a surprise to many well-meaning parents is that certain everyday parenting habits, though rooted in love and good intentions, may be quietly contributing to a child’s emotional struggles.
Dr Minne Joseph, Senior Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at Midland Health, stresses that this isn’t about blame: “Every parent has moments they look back on and wish they’d handled differently. Not to mention, every child is different, and while some are naturally more resilient, others are highly sensitive to what’s happening around them, including how their parents behave.
“There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. What matters most is being reflective, not reactive, and making sure your child knows they can turn to you when life feels tough.”
6 Subtle Mistakes That May Be Impacting Your Child’s Well-being
Here are some subtle but common parenting habits that can unintentionally harm a child’s mental well-being:
- Minimising their emotions: Telling a child something is not a big deal or to get upset may seem like reassurance, but it can teach them to bottle up their feelings rather than process them
- Trying to shield them from all discomfort: While it’s natural to want to remove every obstacle, stepping in too quickly can deny children the chance to build confidence and resilience through small struggles
- Avoiding tough conversations: Not talking about emotions, especially your own, can leave children confused or even worried. When parents model healthy ways of dealing with stress, children learn to do the same
- Sending mixed messages: Saying “I just want you to enjoy being a kid” while also putting pressure on performance, whether in school, sport or friendships, can be overwhelming for young minds
- Overpraising results instead of effort: Focusing only on wins can make children feel like their worth is tied to achievement. Instead, praise their persistence, curiosity and courage
- Projecting your own worries: Children pick up on anxious energy. Phrases like “be careful” or “don’t mess it up” may come from a place of love, but when repeated over and over again, they can instil fear instead of caution
Signs Your Child May Be Struggling
Mental health challenges can show up in many ways. While some are more obvious than others, here are the warning signs to look out for:
- Ongoing sadness or mood swings lasting more than two weeks
- Avoiding friends, activities, or school
- Trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches without a clear cause
- Self-harm, talk of death, or dramatic behaviour changes
- Outbursts of anger, irritability or emotional withdrawal
“If you’re noticing changes in your child, trust your instincts. It’s wise to speak to their school, a GP, or a child mental health professional. After all, early support can make all the difference.
“Naturally, parents want to ‘fix’ what’s wrong, but it’s important to let them know that it’s okay to struggle. When it comes down to it, what children usually need most is simply to feel heard, validated and supported. If you can help them name what they’re feeling and figure out what may make things easier, this can make a world of difference.
“By creating a calm, open and non-judgmental environment, you’re laying the foundation for your child to build mental strength, and showing them you’re a safe presence they can always count on.”
