As the new school year begins, many children will feel a mix of excitement and nerves. For some, the transition can bring on real anxiety, whether it’s starting secondary school, moving to a new class, or simply adjusting to new routines after the holidays.
Dr Minne Joseph, Senior Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at Midland Health, explains that while a certain level of stress is normal, parents can do a lot to help their children feel calm, confident, and supported.
Prepare together
Practical preparation can help to reduce first-day nerves. This may involve practising the bus route, checking timetables, or even meeting up with classmates in advance. By familiarising your child with what’s ahead, you’re reducing the number of unknowns they have to face on day one.
Set realistic expectations
Naturally, parents want to reassure their children that everything will go smoothly, but it’s important to be realistic. Instead of promising that they’ll love it, let them know that it’s okay if it takes them a little while to settle in. That way, you help your child prepare for both the highs and the challenges of a new school year.
Talking through these scenarios and reminding them of times when they handled new situations can make a world of difference and boost their confidence.
Keep communication open
Creating a safe space for your children to share their feelings is crucial. It’s a good idea to ask your child how they’d like to let you know if they’re struggling. Some children prefer talking things through, while others prefer texting or even writing down their feelings.
If you can model openness by sharing your own nerves about a work meeting or new situation, this will help to show them that it’s normal to talk about your worries. But it’s important to remember that not all children are ready to talk straight away. Some need time to decompress and process their emotions before confiding in you.
Equally, it’s important to ensure that your children are aware of other safe adults they can talk to at school if they are worried, such as their teachers, teaching assistants or even dinner ladies. This means that if your child doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to you, they have other adults around them who can guide them and provide some peace of mind.
Stay calm and present
The first day can be just as nerve-racking for parents, but it’s important to try to stay composed. After all, children usually take their cues from us. If you project calm through your tone of voice, your pace, and your body language, they’re far more likely to feel calm themselves.
Watch for signs of struggle
It’s normal for children to feel unsettled at first, but persistent changes in behaviour may signal they need extra support. For example, younger children may become clingy, complain of stomach aches, or have trouble sleeping. Older children, on the other hand, may show irritability, low mood, or even lose interest in things they used to enjoy.
If you notice ongoing changes for more than a couple of weeks, it’s worth reaching out to your GP and teachers to understand the bigger picture.
